One of THOSE days!

Have you ever had one of those days? You know what I'm talking about. THOSE days where dishes clutter the kitchen (our dishwasher is out of order) (NOT fun), the family room floor is covered in shoes, socks, papers, toys, garbage, and crumbs (even though "no one" breaks the rule and eats in there), and the laundry has piled for too long and is scattered in a chaotic mess throughout your bedroom. Let me make it very clear that I am very good at laundry. I totally rock at getting it washed and even dried. And then...well...when it comes to actually getting it put away I'm not so hot. I am, however, very, very, good at getting it out of the dryer and into a vacant laundry basket, where I take it up upstairs to my room where I have every intention of folding it and putting it away. But that is pretty much where it ends. I have had to instruct Mike, "No, Hun, THAT laundry basket is full of CLEAN clothes, not dirty ones. Can you see the difference? The DIRTY basket is always over HERE, whereas the CLEAN laundry basket(s) are over HERE. Please do not confuse the two. Thank you. I love you."

It was one of these days that we had an appointment with the cable guy to come and fix the cable connection in our...you guessed it...bedroom. (The one with all those laundry baskets). He was supposed to come over between 1-5 in the afternoon. No problem, I thought. I will take the morning and put all that laundry away, clean the room, and make it look like I am one of those super women who are able to keep their home spotless, at all times, even with kids running around. So I started cooking me an egg for breakfast to ensure that I had plenty of energy for the upcoming task at hand.

Right as the egg was about done the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hello, Mam. This is Comcast. We have an appointment with you for this afternoon."

"Yup, that's right. Between 1-5."

"Well, Mam, we were wondering if we might be able to come out to your home a little early."

"...Early?....uh.... sure, what time were you thinking? (Please don't say 'now!' Please don't say 'now!')"

"He's ready now if that's okay. He's about 15 minutes from your house."

"(HOLY CRAP!!!) Oh...(Crap!!!) uh... (Crap!) Yeah, (Crap crap crap!) I think that would work out just (crap!) fine."

Forget the egg and toast. Forget the shower. I cleaned as fast as I ever had in my life. Well, sort of. I have a confession. I cleaned like my kids clean: I shoved clothes under the bed, I threw laundry baskets in the closets and closed the doors, I kicked the wadded up rug that Cam dumped water on(a few days ago) into the bathroom with the toilet and shut the door, I dusted with my arm as I walked by, I closed my kids doors to their rooms, hid things behind the chairs, and then prayed that he would not need to go downstairs in view of the toy room (HOLY SCARY) to check the connectors in the furnace room. I was throwing the last laundry basket into the last closet when he knocked.

Ten minutes later my cable was working again and Cam had his cartoon channels back and I had fooled the cable guy that my house was clean. Sweet success!

And then I saw it. Right as I shut the door behind him. Lying there in plain sight in the living room right next to the front door was (Men, please plug your ears) a tampon. There. I said it. A TAMPON!

My sweet, SWEET, 2 year old had decided that he was going to open one up and see if there was candy inside or something. I don't know. I don't really care. His 2 year old reasoning doesn't really matter now. All that mattered was it was there in plain sight, in all of its sanitary glory, for Larry the Cable Guy to see, right as he walked into my spotless (**cough cough**) home. Did he see it? I really don't want to know. Really. I don't.

So there you have it. Just another ordinary day in the my life. The tampon has been removed from the entry way now, as have the 5 others of its friends that Cam also opened and played with sometime when I had by back turned. Apparently, they were having a party under the couch. Because, you know, if I were a tampon, that is TOTALLY where I would want to hang out.

(What's that all over his face, you ask? It's fingernail polish. Another story for another time.)

"Only a very exceptionally gifted mind could cope singly with all the problems which present themselves in the perfecting of a home."
~Arnold Bennett